A Big Step Through Another Doorway

Last March (2012) on my blogspot, I wrote about "Stepping Through Doorways".   Well I have stepped through many of those in my life span.  I stepped through another one last night.

This time it was a bit different.  I did not argue with myself, I did not run in and run back out and wait to regroup.  I didn't shove myself through kicking and screaming.

I stepped through this "doorway"  mindfully, deliberately.  I am not going to say it was without difficulty.  It gave me some twinges but my passion, my heart guided me.  Last night I gave my first public seminar or talk about Reiki.  I gave it at a local hospital.  I enjoyed it thoroughly even though the acceptance of this was mixed.

Why is this a remarkable "doorway" for me?  I moved to a place where many view "alternative" healing therapies as opposing to their religion.   The  hesitancy and outright fear of even being presented with a concept of "energy healing" is very real here.   I have met a few people here and there and I am open about my healing practices with them.   Some are very open to it in fact,  I also have discovered a great curiosity about Reiki and other forms of practices.

And so  one of these curious souls asked me to give an informational discussion about Reiki.   I devised a very basic outline to follow and printed it for a handout.  I utilized my outline and filled in the spaces freestyle. Which worked very well.  I was amazed at how calm I was..how assured.  I loved this experience despite some of the negative and fearful views I received.

Wait, maybe I enjoyed it because of the fearful remarks and attitudes.  I was able to give a calming perspective.  Which basically is:  Everyone has the right to make their own decisions about things.  It's good to hear about varied modalities but that never means you have to accept it personally.   I also reinforced that I was there to inform not convert, convince or coerce anyone into believing in what I was discussing.

Afterwards I invited questions.  That was very very enlightening as well as interesting.

However;  the best part of all was when a few of them asked for me to show them how Reiki feels.  And I did.

A year or two ago I would never have been able to make myself do something that is so controversial here.  But somehow, along the line, I lost some of my fear and anxiety about exposing myself and my beliefs for public perusal.  Interesting.

Well, I am out there now.  There is no going back.  And that's good.  Today I have had requests for a Reiki 1 class.   This is exciting!

Clearing the Way

I haven't written for a while.  I had another egg I was sitting on.  Waiting for it to be ready to hatch.  And finally it has.  So, here i am.  

I believe I am beginning to sort myself out at a very deep level.  I can't accurately put it into words.  There is the same old stream of anxious/frustration.   However,  there is something else with it. A strengthening kind of push. Kind of like sun peeking through the clouds of a dark and dreary day. With the implied promise of sunny days without clouds.  Progress!

Maybe I spend an awful lot of time sorting out my emotions..but to be honest..I have been kind of “emotionally” crippled since I was very young and I don't know why. I have worked through so much buried things I would not or could not deal with.  I am so much better for it.   But as I dig deeper..I am finding  more tenacious and hidden things that are probably the basis for most of it.

And this is the most difficult to work through. But I have this feeling that I am making headway.

Why am I doing this after I have made such progress already?   Because what is left...is using my relationships and life situations as a place to trigger and act out. I do not want that. I want to be able to know what is a real problem that needs discussion and work ..and what are merely triggered projections from deeply buried repressed emotions.   The other reason is:  I am being presented with opportunities that I have not had before.  I want to utilize these to my fullest potential.  

For this work I am using Reiki of course. I will continue to process harsh and uncomfortable feelings by utilizing the “State of Acceptance”, “Formula for Emotional Control”, Living in my own flow, The Violet Flame, Living in the Now, Meditation, some Shamanic journeying with my Power Animal and my Inner Guidance, of course.   

That is one major discovery I made about myself and others. We all have the tools for inner healing within us.    We are our own Healing Ground.  

It reminds me of someone who has a bit of land that is filled with rocks, debris and trash.  The clean up begins with the trash that is scattered and blowing around, then the heavier debris.  Then comes the hard part..the roots of dead trees and rocks that need to be dug up.  It could be left there after the trash and debris is  picked up.  However,  if you wanted to really utilize your piece of land, you would need to clear it well to plant some nourishing and beneficial plants and trees.  

I am now digging up the roots of my dead issues and the rocks of pain I have hidden.   I want to plant healthier things.   And so I continue to clear my healing ground.