Sunday, July 22, 2012

The Beautiful Alchemy of Nature

The "storm" that came through here the end of June downed many of my trees and the ground was covered with limbs, leaves and other debris.  We have cleaned a lot of it up.  By the time the clean up was accomplished, rains came.  I haven't been able to keep up with the mowing.

I was out wandering around my very large overgrown lawn this morning.  The fog had just lifted and I was testing the ground for spots dry enough to mow.  I was admiring the wild violets that had popped up all over the place when I noticed there was a loud incessant droning in the background.

I looked closer and there were bees everywhere.   The bees were busily moving from bloom to bloom.  There must have been at least a hundred of them.  What a beautiful sight.    The wild violets are spread throughout the expanse of the field that makes up my back, front and side lawn.

I pulled myself away to go into the house and find my camera.  When I came back, it appeared there were even more.  As far as I could see,  there was movement and buzzing over those purple blooms.  Breathtaking!

Bees are such profound beings. These were Bumble bees.

Some basic facts about Bumble bees:

"Bumblebees are considered to be beneficial insects because theypollinate crops and plants. They are very social bees and live in large "families".

Unlike honeybees, bumblebees can sting more than once because their stingers are smooth and do not get caught in the skin when they fly away.
Size: 1"
Shape: Oval, bee shaped
Color: Black with yellow stripes
Legs: 6
Wings: Yes
Antenna: Yes
click to download info sheetCommon Name: Bumble Bee
Kingdom: Animalia
Phylum: Arthropoda
Class: Insecta
Order: Hymenoptera
Family: Apidae
Species: Bombus

DIETWorker bees gather both pollen and nectar from flowers to feed to the larvae and other members of the colony.
HABITATBumblebees often nest in the ground, but can be found above ground around patio areas or decks. They will sometimes build their nests in attics or under roof beams. If disturbed, bumblebees will buzz in a loud volume, and they will aggressively defend their nests

Bees see all colors except the color red. That and their sense of smell help them find the flowers they need to collect pollen. Not only is pollen a food source for bees, but some of the pollen is dropped in flight, resulting in cross pollination. The relationship between the plant and the insect is called  symbiosis."
(this is taken from

The condition of Symbiosis is fascinating to me.


Symbiosis is a close ecological relationship between the individuals of two (or more) different species.   Sometimes a symbiotic relationship benefits both species, sometimes one species benefits at the other's expense, and in other cases neither species benefits.
Ecologists use a different term for each type of symbiotic relationship:


  --   both species benefit


  --   one species benefits, the other is unaffected


  --   one species benefits, the other is harmed


  --   neither species benefits


  --   both species are unaffected

(this is copied from

It made me start to think...The entirety of nature is involved in symbiotic relationships.  What kind of participant am I??  In my heart I strive for "Mutualism".  But I know, more than likely, I am leaning towards "parasitism and competition"  simply because the nature of humans is to take over and mold the "alchemy of nature" into forms that appear to benefit humans.  Instead of being a part of the "beautiful alchemy of nature".

For instance, as much as I love it...I will eventually mow my lawn.  The violets will be cut back and the bees will be forced to find another spot.   That might be "parasitism" or "commensalism".

It has not escaped my attention that my "need" to mow my lawn is part of a social illusion.  One that I am a part of, no matter how much I love the natural world.  So I am basically going to disrupt those beautiful bumble bees as they go about their very needed work of collecting pollen to continue their species and to pollinate other plants to continue the cycles of the natural world.

I don't know the answer to this dilemma.  I will eventually mow my lawn but it now be with the mindful awareness that I am interacting with the beautiful alchemy of nature in ways I never dreamed.

My Inner Guidance has brought all of this to my attention.  Now I "know" , what do I do about it?  hmmmmm.

Thursday, July 19, 2012

Wisdom is Acquired Through Life Challenges

Wisdom is knowledge that is utilized. Knowledge is utilized the most for the many challenges life presents. I remind myself of this frequently. It helps me remain thankful despite the difficulties I face.

Since the lights came back on in my neck of the woods, I feel like I hit the ground running. I can't keep up with the demands of life right now. And so, I decided today to take a deep breath, present my awareness into the present. So what that our (expensive) push weed eater is broke down and it will cost more to fix than to replace. There are still piles of limbs laying around my yard from the storms and the tree disaster. The grass in my huge yard is getting taller and taller because it has been raining almost everyday. I have water standing in my garage from the torrential downpours.

My house is dirty and my job is every exacting as well as time consuming right now.

Ok...I am thankful for all the conditions behind the things that present as problems. I am thankful for my beautiful yard, thankful the downed trees have already been cut and stacked, ready for burning. I am thankful my home was spared from damage. I am thankful I even have a weed eater and a garage. I am thankful for the rain because many parts of the US are suffering through a terrible drought.

I am thankful for my work right now. I only have one patient and I am able to give her my full attention. She is benefiting from my many years of experience as a nurse.

Things pile up sometimes. Problem after problem seem to flow from every direction. It is up to me to decide if I will allow it to overwhelm me or I will put myself in "The Flow" and give myself a chance to breath. Will I freak out or just take one step at a time.'s a no brainer for me. I hate freaking out. It is draining and tiring. Nothing gets done any faster or effectively. Nothing is life threatening. And nothing collapses my energy centers like self induced anxiety. Not everything has a deadline in which to work itself out.

Wisdom acquired from past life challenges directs me to quiet the mind chatter by circulating my life force, opening my hear center, pull my awareness to the present and be thankful for my blessings. Things will get done in their own time. My heart is the seat of "The Flow" and it will help me prioritize all the problems appropriately.

In retrospect I can see that life challenges are good for me. I utilize knowledge which transforms into wisdom. I use the wisdom I acquired to help me utilize more knowledge and gain more wisdom. It goes on and on.

I have the opportunity to gain a lot of wisdom while I am in this physical plane because there is no shortage of life challenges. That's for sure.

Sunday, July 15, 2012

Healing a Troubled Mind

I have come to see that healing is a constant process. It is a step by step, day by day and minute by minute step. Every aspect of the human condition requires healing. The intent of healing leads me where I need to be.

The deep spiritual work I have accomplished for the past two decades has taught me that there is no one day where I will wake up..totally enlightened, spiritually focused with a healthy mind and body that will never be troubled again by the mundane issues of this physical life. The bad news is the challenges of being human in this physical plane are ongoing until it is our time to leave this physical plane. We will always be subject to the limitations.

The good news is: when we become aware of our deeper Self, our connection with "The Source of All That Is", we can learn to navigate this slippery plane in better ways. We can find that part of us that "Knows" We will have tools to help us work with our greatest adversary, ourselves. We can see beyond the illusions of personality, beyond the fear, anxiety and confusion that shapes so much of our collective society's personality.

My goal everyday is to put myself in "The Flow" of life. The Flow deep inside me that I can sense with my heart and deeper Self. If I wake up with a troubled mind, my first task is to get a hold of myself, process my discomfort and sense the flow. When I get myself in "The Flow" things begin to fall in place as they are meant to be. I am calmer inside and my ego/emotional/mind chatter is quieter.

The ways of getting there are varied. Meditation, of course, is a good one. Reiki or other forms of 'energy healing" methods. Another one for me is to go outside, work on my yard, walk around and look at weeds with my dog. When I do this I become so focused on what I am doing it switches my perspective. I work until I become aware that I am very tired, covered in sweat and thirsty. Another one is to use my stationary bike, do yoga and dance around the house.

There are days when my mind/emotions/ego are so troubled that I cannot effectively process what I am feeling. I am too distracted to sit still. Movement and total focus helps me break through this barrier. After I have expended some of this nervous energy I am more receptive to sitting quietly for a meditation or a Reiki Treatment. I am in "the Flow" and my troubled mind is eased. I seem to know my way a bit clearer. My life force begins to flow more evenly. The stuck places become unstuck.

Every second I spend in "The Flow" is healing and uplifting to my mind, body and spirit. I am there now and it feels great. Are all my life issues solved? No...however my troubled mind is eased, my heart is open and my life force is circulating well. I have faith that everything I need will come in the best time for the greatest good.

Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Big Unexpected and Sometimes Scary Adventure

Recovered, Replenished and Redirected

Did I mention adventure in my last entry? Oh My God! Anything I was upset about in that last post was blown out of the window by the new situation that literally blew in. It started on Friday, June 29 with a big wind and a storm that came out of nowhere with no warning. It lasted maybe 15 minutes and it wiped out the power and everything else.

I had no idea that this storm would be the beginning of an ordeal that lasted 9 days. And there are people here who still do not have power.

It was a strange nine days. The heat was unrelenting. The focus of life was gas, ice and water. I was forced to throw out everything in our freezer and refrigerator. Not enough ice.
I stood in lines for ice and water from the National Guard, went to cooling shelters for meals and respite. (After I found some gas available to buy) I washed clothes by hand, cooked on a campstove, making dinners out of things stored in my pantry. I basically lived on my back porch for the duration because the house was stifling.

The heat and uncertainty of things were so intense that I had problems sleeping at night. I wasn't scared, surprisingly, just unable to sleep.

However, I meditated for long periods of time. Strangely enough, so many things seem clearer. Some things that were becoming clearer were totally unveiled.

I made yet another startling realization that I may not want to practice nursing in the usual way any longer. I no longer feel as though I want to treat and nurse physical symptoms in the usual way. I want to be a nurse of the whole enchilada....body, mind and spirit. I so firmly believe in the connection between these parts of us that all are necessary to wellness and health. I believe we can have physical afflictions and still be healthy.

I believe it is all about the Life Force and the circulation of this life force through our bodies and aura that is as vital as blood to our being. I believe that our sense of health and well being comes from this life force, optimal circulation to avoid "energy clots" and raising the vibrational frequency of our life force.

I have come to "know" that we, as humans, our driven by our emotions and ego. That will not change, it is part of who we all are. I "know" that our emotions and ego are merely trying to "help" us in this physical world but are not capable of making the best decisions for us. The ego/emotional combination is wired for the purpose of grasping onto to immediate gratification and solutions to what we perceive as problems. Our brain is tied to this and works with the ego/emotions to make logic out of our desire to avoid fear, anxiety.

It is our heart center that is the intersection of the totality of our being. It is the place where our wisdom comes from. A place where we connect our physical body with Life Force and wisdom that is not born of this physical plane in this life span but a culmination of learned experiences and knowledge that we acquire with each life span.

If we acknowledge and increase our awareness of this, then we can successfully work with our ego/emotions and brain to further our life here in this plane in this life span. Once we recognize that what we need and truly want comes from the heart we can connect it to our ego/emotions and brain we can begin to see what is really important.

The heart is the true mind of the being and it will show us the way to our truest flow in this life. It wlll lead us step by step to what we need to do, where we need to be. It is the seat of our truest inspiration and gifts. It is the pinnacle of our health and well-being.

I can truly see how we attract and repel things in our life. How our brain, on it's own, along with the ego/emotional duo are here to fulfill our thoughts. It will try to manifest what we think, whether it is good or not so good for us. But when we connect it consciously with our heart, and deliberately acknowledge our life force, circulate it through our aura and body with the deliberate intent on raising the frequency of our energy vibration, we are automatically able to direct our energy and thoughts to the flow and direction of life that we need to be in to fulfill our needs and purpose. We are led into the direction not blindly groping for our way.

Whew. So this is a deepening step for me. To process my anxiety about working and what I should allowing myself to feel the anxiety without putting a reason for it. To continue to work with my life force to deliberately connect all parts of me and take one step at a time in the direction I am led. "To Do without Doing, To Know without Understanding Why"

It is interesting to note that during those nine days of what appeared to be a prison of heat and discomfort I was freed to see these things more clearly than ever before. And during this time I received two phone calls of people requesting Reiki attunements. I am in the process of getting a class together now and constructing a class plan.

I also had several requests for Reiki Treatments during those days without power. Most people have not ever heard of Reiki where I live now. It happened at a cooling shelter 5 days into the ordeal. A lady who knows me and knows I do Reiki was there and asked me to give her Reiki. There were people watching and several of them wanted to try it too, because the lady I was giving it to was well known to them.

I spent this week (after the power came back on) catching up on sleep, getting my house in order, replenishing the fridge and freezer, catching up on laundry and cleaning up the mess from the trees in my yard that blew down. I am recovering from the physical aspects of the ordeal caused by lack of electricity. Those long and sweltering nights I spent alone in the deepest darkness should have been terrifying.

But honestly deep down, below the surface of me, I feel replenished and redirected somehow. It feels like I was on some kind of primitive spiritual retreat.

Everything takes time and I can see, in retrospect, that I have been working towards a deep and purposeful need for a while, step by step. Beginning with my urge to move here and give up conventional nursing and take up "traditional" nursing. What does all this mean? It means that now I know when I grow up I want to be a "Granny Woman". The most basic but effective healers, natural apothecaries and seers of other levels of life.

I guess every once in a while I get side tracked and am caught up in my frustration about things that appear to be in my way. Once again I was a witness to how fast things can change and what happens to things we take for granted. I used the time to strengthen my connection with what is real and important to me.

I am recovered, replenished and redirected

This I Know

Stumbling through life has it's merits.  I can see this now.  It's messy, uncomfortable at times, enlightening, joyous, heartbr...