Saturday, November 26, 2011

Adaptability

It is the end of a busy day at home. And I am doing much better today. I was so unfocused I could not even meditate so I just spent time circulating the energy of my aura and concentrating on my breathing throughout the day. I went outside because it was so beautiful out and fairly warm. I cleared some brush and worked up a sweat.

It felt good..kind of warming my insides and helping the circulation of my energy. I puttered inside doing a lot of little things. I am amazed at how much I can get done while doing a few little things here and there.

I am tired now but my insides, my emotions and my energy feels much much better. I am not sure if I was experiencing a delayed reaction to that sad and confusing trip to Philadelphia or maybe responding to a major environmental energy shift.

It doesn't matter. I stopped resisting the discomfort I felt, occupied myself with meaningful tasks and raised the vibrational energy of my body and my environment. It's amazing how much more promising life appears when I am circulating and connected with myself.

The new lesson from my Guidance that goes along with the State of Acceptance is Adaptability

I don't fully understand the mechanism of it yet but I know. The understanding will come later.

Thursday, November 24, 2011

Happy Thanksgiving

I had a quiet but very very nice Thanksgiving. I cooked a feast and loved every minute of it. It marks my second Thanksgiving day that I did not have to go to work in so many years. I didn't mind the mess I made in the kitchen. I savored every second of the preparation and of course, the outcome.

After my partner and I ate, we watched the original "Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory". I love that movie. Then my partner had to leave for work. With a smile on his face and a stuffed tummy.

All day I have had this song in my head. I have been humming and singing it to myself so I decided to put it on here.

I am 56 and I remember this song so well from way back in the day. I guess I still love it!


Wednesday, November 23, 2011

Dark Place with Light

I changed the background to my blog because I needed a dark background with light text. I am not sure why. It is something I am feeling now. Sometimes I need to meditate in the dark with only one candle burning. I believe it to be the same premise.

I love bright colors and I love meditating during the day with bright sunlight streaming through the windows. But there are occasions when my inner self signals a need to contemplate in the dark. I seem to go deeper and I have a more focused observation on the light source.

If this makes no sense, it's ok. I have found over the years, there are things that I "know" from a place deep inside me but I do not understand why or how. I know, so I do it when I sense the need. It reminds me again of a phrase My Guidance gave me when I first became aware of them years and years ago. "Be without a facade, Do without doing and Know without understanding why".

Now, for years that made no sense to me whatsoever. But I am beginning to see and know what it means. Do I "understand" it? No..but I don't need to..I know and that comes from my Source.

I meditate in the darkness with one candle and it penetrates something inside me..getting through when I could not before. And it helps me sift through the rubble and process things more efficiently.

This is needed now. I don't understand why but I just know it is.

Sunday, November 20, 2011

Sorting through the rubble

I have discovered that when I am presented with an emotionally painful challenge; it seems to trigger a disturbance inside me from similar issues from the past. Issues that I obviously have not worked through. Such is the case at this time.

For the past year, I have dedicated myself to inner healing. Processing buried and repressed feelings have been an integral part of my healing process.

Right now I am a bit subdued. Troubled and kind of disconnected. The good thing is I know what to do. And I have begun. The usual..circulating my aura, legitimizing the fact that something is bothering me and processing it. I don't have to know exactly what the issue is or analyze what started it..just allow myself to feel what I feel.

I set aside time to sit quietly in my favorite chair by the fireplace. Playing music that I like, light my incense and candles and prepare the room as if I were going to do a Reiki treatment or meditate. Then I circulate my aura and connect with my "Guidance" and "The Source of All". While I am meditating on allowing the feelings to come through me, I also give myself Reiki for support.

It is not necessary to do all of this but when I make a ritual of it, it gives me a sense of working with myself towards further healing. Preparing my environment seems to communicate through out me that I am working with a purpose, instead of being swept away by my emotions.

Another thing I have discovered is that when I set aside time and space to process this, I always find something interesting buried under the rubble and mess inside me. So it is time to sort through the rubble and see what I find.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

"Why Assume the Worst", posted by Reverend Carol A. Ingle

I joined "Enchanted Forest" because of some of the blogs and articles I read there that resonated with me a lot. But today I found one that blew me away. Perhaps because it goes along with what my "Inner Guidance" is leading me to practice in my life in thought, deed and spirit.

There are some differences, of course, but the message is profound in it's reinforcement of the way I now try to live.

So here it is. It is written by Reverend Carol A. Ingle.


WHY ASSUME THE WORST?
Posted by Rev. Carol A. Ingle (Raven) on November 17, 2011 at 11:30am

Why assume the worst?
I don't know where this came from, but I like it... Enjoy!
One Feather - Why is it that when we do not get what we are hoping for that most of the time we let our thoughts assume the worst?
Spirit clearly wants to encourage you to strive for your best. The key is that as you learn to accept that the encouragement is there, it is then enabling your hopes to believe they will turn it into reality. Basically, you cannot give up your positive plans before completion. Some days we see the futility and frustrations of a physical world holding you back from the rewards of a spiritual making.


Our desires, both in spirit and on the earth plane, are to douse you with delirium. You are responsible for creating your happiness, but spirit is your escort. We will take the lead in many ways, but you, by virtue of your free will have been given the reigns to control and direct. Like an unbridled horse with an indecisive rider, Spirit does not know what direction you truly want to go in when you delay yourself. It is easy for us to blame you, just like you like to blame God and Spirit. If my thoughts seem to be wandering it is only because I am giving you a taste of what we go through in spirit.


Sometimes we sit back and are amused by those who choose not to temporarily help themselves when life stalls out. As I was trying to say earlier, we can put the plan in motion to help you forward, but you have to make it clear that you want to move forward. Do not stop at each obstacle as if you have failed and then state the negative mantras of "it will not happen".


What have you forgotten? For many of you it is the simplified version of thinking and being in a positive frame of mind even when the challenges are the greatest. As a young boy I walked through fire. Our lands were torched and most of my friends perished because they feared going through the hardest part. Instead of running towards the oncoming flames, they chose to try to outrun it by going in the opposite direction. When your backs are towards danger you have no way to manage or manipulate the direction you want to take yourself in. You lose oxygen and you lose hope because you leave yourself blind to danger. If you allow yourself to be victimized, how can you truly think you are doing your best to be positive; to allow your life to be prosperous?


When I was running I could clearly see where the flames were and where they weren't. I was able to dart around and jump over stumps and fallen trees and ultimately I made it to the waters edge. Once there I felt peaceful and safe. I was exhausted, but I dove in to refresh myself. I actually submerged myself for several minutes to see how long I could still hold my breath. This was not done as anything but a simple challenge to myself to see if I still maintained the same strength and stamina that I had before racing through a smoked filled forest. What I found at the bottom while I lay motionless and submerged was that life was still going on. I could feel the fish swim around me and even nibble on me at times presumably because they thought I had failed. I got a kick out of the activity when I sat up and I could see that the fish all darted except for the clams which I took, not only for food, but to trade later on. Why would I turn down the gift of currency because I overcame a difficult time? Just surviving is not substantial enough—or at least it wasn't for me.


Your situations in life can cause you hardships and stress, but the reality is that if you face your fears, and in a sense, face the enemies that are causing the disruption, you get the upper hand. If somebody is thwarting your happiness, it is up to you to throw the proverbial darts back at him by taking control over what you want and not leaving it up to them to direct your path.


What my message tonight is about is luxury and living in a sense of free will and free balance. Even the youngest of us can believe and understand that when they are prepared, study and stay committed to their rightful path, they achieve success. Whether or not you are students or teachers in the physical sense makes no difference. For a student, getting the straight "A" report card means you have achieved success. For a teacher having your student get a straight "A" report card also means you have achieved success. For the purposes of this message I wish to compare the teachers with those of us in spirit. Like you, we work diligently trying to prepare our students for the best results. Like you, we suffer from frustration when the results do not add up to the effort we put in ourselves because the student has let them self down. Understand the importance of that last sentence. The student has not let the teacher down and none of you will ever lose us in spirit because of your attitudes. The student, by letting themselves down, has only delayed their inevitable happiness.


We find that many of you will be on paths of codependence where even your success, in your minds, are linked together with other people's assistance. Just for the next three weeks I want all of you to symbolically discard the people who are delaying your happiness and simply turn the problems over to your teachers or us in spirit. I can guarantee you that most of you will see the projects you have been working on come to completion, and by completion, we talk about a new balance in the new energetic direction--one that is rewarding.

Tonight, my mission was to clearly tell all of you that even in your most troubled days there is a voice that can be heard from us through the child within. Many of you are doubtful, very much like I was when I was in the physical realm. It is easy to dismiss that little inner voice because you think the inner voice comes from the mental and mind stimulation; and then you sit back and say to yourself that it cannot be right. I can attest to you that the punctuation of success comes much more easily when you do not try to perforate the messages that you hear. If you keep trying to poke holes into everything that you sense, then you have impeded your own progress. Likewise, if you set yourself up to be in the middle of a herd of buffalo and you shot a gun you have set yourself up not only to have your progress impeded, but for yourself to be stampeded
.
This is said for a very specific reason. Some of you are not only being burdened by financial situations, but also by emotional and spiritual ones. All of you have decisions to be making about your futures and all I can do is encourage you to have more faith and optimism in yourselves and in your abilities to achieve then what you have been doing the last few weeks. The world itself is a place that must be full of tolerance. It is a place that you can aspire for absolutely anything and you can achieve absolutely anything as long as you stay committed to the higher purpose of what you are choosing to do.


I have shredded your ears enough tonight and will leave you with some time to contemplate the simple words that I have put forward for you. May all of you walk in the moccasins of the High Spirit. May you understand that the greatness that you would love to achieve would come easily when you accept the grace and beauty of yourselves and the life around you.


One last thought. If some of you feel as though your struggles are more then you can handle, the only shame in that comes when you do not ask anyone else for help. Just like the angels in spirit, there are angels in your life in the physical as well. Reach out to them. Talk to your friends and family. Feel the love, feel the protection and feel the power.


May the wolf walk with you for protection and may the great bear stand behind your back chasing away any would be robbers. (An image of "robbers" as a whole series of negative events was shown.)

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Taking care of painful business

I found out what the anxiety was about on November 3. I was called away on that exact day to take care of some very painful and sorrowful business for someone I admire, respect and love a lot.

I have been in Philadelphia since November 3rd. I am in Virginia now and will be returning home to West Virginia tomorrow. My partner and I have added to our little animal family. A cat belonging to my dear friend in Philadelphia. A cherished friend who is actively dying.

She is not only someone I hold dear and close to my heart, she is also my partner's mother. A sad and confusing process it is to help someone sort things out in order for them to die well. A horrifically painful process to lose a mother.

It was so hard to leave her but everything is in place for her to peacefully and comfortably come to the end of life in this plane. I am not sure we will be able to return to her in time for her actual passing. But for now we have done everything we could possibly do to ensure her comfort and sense of security during this phase of her life.

We left her in good hands. A wonderful Hospice House outside of Philadelphia. We moved her from the hospital to the Hospice house 5 days ago and her horrible pain and nausea are under control. She is very sleepy but no pain and no nausea. She is surrounded by the things from home that she loves that we could fit in her room.

I could write and talk all day about the wonderful ways of Hospice but another time. Working out the circumstances to allow her to be cared for there was emotionally, physically and mentally draining. We are exhausted.

One thing you can be sure of; I used every tool my Guidance has given me to get through the last ten days. And it helped us both more than I would have ever believed.

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Floating Confusion, Low Level Anxiety with a dash of a Deep Down Sense of Purpose and Calm

I am in a place within..of some confusion with low level anxiety, today. I have no idea what is causing this. I could guess if I were to analyze it, it is somewhat inspired by the grave and terminal illness of my partner's mother. This is weighing heavily on my heart.

Also the ongoing question of what direction am I headed. I feel I am definitely headed on a specific route but to where, I have not a clue. And moving right along with this are some financial worries.

I sense deep inside me; it is my job to keep my aura and body circulating with healing and cleansing energy, meditate/pray a lot, observe, acknowledge, legitimize and process my emotions. And the biggie, express gratitude for all of the good things in my life.

I am doing these things everyday. I am in a state of acceptance. I will not rush myself or circumstances. I will be open to each step I am taking towards what I am meant to be and do. I suppose that is why I continue to feel calm and inspired.

I guess I just want things to speed up and I want to see clearly where I am headed. Instant gratification is a difficult preconditioned expectation of the human condition and a very difficult habit to break.