Sunday, February 10, 2013

Clearing the Way


I haven't written for a while.  I had another egg I was sitting on.  Waiting for it to be ready to hatch.  And finally it has.  So, here i am.  


I believe I am beginning to sort myself out at a very deep level.  I can't accurately put it into words.  There is the same old stream of anxious/frustration.   However,  there is something else with it. A strengthening kind of push. Kind of like sun peeking through the clouds of a dark and dreary day. With the implied promise of sunny days without clouds.  Progress!

Maybe I spend an awful lot of time sorting out my emotions..but to be honest..I have been kind of “emotionally” crippled since I was very young and I don't know why. I have worked through so much buried things I would not or could not deal with.  I am so much better for it.   But as I dig deeper..I am finding  more tenacious and hidden things that are probably the basis for most of it.

And this is the most difficult to work through. But I have this feeling that I am making headway.

Why am I doing this after I have made such progress already?   Because what is left...is using my relationships and life situations as a place to trigger and act out. I do not want that. I want to be able to know what is a real problem that needs discussion and work ..and what are merely triggered projections from deeply buried repressed emotions.   The other reason is:  I am being presented with opportunities that I have not had before.  I want to utilize these to my fullest potential.  

For this work I am using Reiki of course. I will continue to process harsh and uncomfortable feelings by utilizing the “State of Acceptance”, “Formula for Emotional Control”, Living in my own flow, The Violet Flame, Living in the Now, Meditation, some Shamanic journeying with my Power Animal and my Inner Guidance, of course.   

That is one major discovery I made about myself and others. We all have the tools for inner healing within us.    We are our own Healing Ground.  

It reminds me of someone who has a bit of land that is filled with rocks, debris and trash.  The clean up begins with the trash that is scattered and blowing around, then the heavier debris.  Then comes the hard part..the roots of dead trees and rocks that need to be dug up.  It could be left there after the trash and debris is  picked up.  However,  if you wanted to really utilize your piece of land, you would need to clear it well to plant some nourishing and beneficial plants and trees.  

I am now digging up the roots of my dead issues and the rocks of pain I have hidden.   I want to plant healthier things.   And so I continue to clear my healing ground.  



3 comments:

  1. I love this garden analogy. I am on a similar journey and just recently started blogging as a way to make sense of and share what I have learned after deciding to heal myself. It's nice to find a story that resonates.

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  2. The struggles, obstacles and deep rooted influences within each individual may be different but the path of self healing connects us.

    Keep on blogging. It not only helps you sort things out as you progress but it serves as little road signs for others who don't even know where to begin.

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  3. Totally. I intend to keep with it. I think it is a bit like holding the space for others to make the journey as well. Sometimes it has been lonely to create the path as I go. Nice to have found some company :)

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