Sunday, February 26, 2012

Stuck in some kind of learning curve

I am not sure if that is what is happening but it feels like it. I haven't written for days because I am kind of settling in to another shift or level of sensing that has caused me some mild upheaval and a kind of confused and slanted view of my world and environment. My Guidance is teaching me another step to "circulating my aura". It is to Circulate the Aura of my physical life environment and structures. My acceptance and attempts to practice this new step kind of reminds me of the learning curve and the "Power Law of Practice".

It never occurred to me to circulate the aura of my physical environment, structures and situations. I felt circulating my aura was sufficient and extended to my physical life, surroundings and situations. Well, as far as I can tell, it does. But my Guidance wants me to do this because it will enhance the energy vibrational level of my physical environment and situations. In other words, if I didn't do this next step it would be fine but They want me to do the next step...cause it will be better for me. Nuff said..I will do it.

I am not sure the reason yet, It's kind of new information to my conscious mind. But I can ascertain this, by raising the vibrational energy level of the aura of my physical life structure and situations..I can periodically cleanse the residual emotional/egoic crap that builds up. Because everything that is in my physical environment can become saturated with my emotional/egoic energy..whatever that may be at a given time. Stagnating energy in my physical life and situations is not my body's aura, should be circulating for optimal health and strength.

I am working out the details..They come slowly. I have begun practicing it. But it has a strange "after feeling". It's not bad..just different.

My Guides did let me know..that I was not supposed to practice this anymore than 3 times a week and optimally no less than once a month.

The idea is not to wipe out the ego/emotional influence but to work with it. And even sometimes, let it happen. I am human and this is the human condition. I need to experience things this way. The ego/emotions have some great attributes. It is not my enemy. It is a source of rich experiential sensation. Otherwise I would be like some "goody two shoes robot".

I am a human in the physical life and I am a spiritual being. I want to be able to see past my emotions/ego to live my life on all levels to the best of my ability. I also want to experience and sense what is here in the physical world. I want a balance. I don't want to live in my ego/emotions..but I want to experience them at times.

Friday, February 17, 2012

Revisiting my old friend, "Fear".

It's amazing to me that in retrospect, I can see in so many ways how fear interweaves itself so solidly into our lives. It makes many of our personal boundaries, stops us from making personal boundaries. Fear stops us from moving forward at times and then again can push us ahead blindly.

Fear makes us avoid relationships or jump into them. Fear is with us when we wake up and when we close our eyes. And any fear based anxieties we have not faced openly while awake will come to confront us in our dreams.

Each of us experience fear in our own way but in different manners and means.
I can see some of the impact and influence that fear has in my own life. I can see how it affects people as groups, organizations, civilizations. It is the moving factor in our own countries experience right now. It has always been.

There is no cure for this. Fear is not a disease. It is not intrinsically "bad". It has motivated man since his/her entrance into this world to survive.

I don't see fear as a detriment to mankind at all. What is a detriment is how we react to it. How I (and most humans I am sure) react to it, how I refuse to look at fear for what it is, causes it to work through my subconscious. I believe that in myself this has caused fear to have way more influence on me and my life than it should.

I believe fear to be a motivator for many other emotions that are tied to man's survival and existence. Greed, jealousy, anxiety, desperation are just a few.
It causes me to look at the illusions of the financial and political world in our country and world differently.

Instead of disdain and disgust, I can now view this with empathy. Greed is fear based and goes hand in hand with jealousy. Which is the fear that someone else is receiving more of some type of reward, either emotionally or materially.

The factors that cause wars are fear based. The fear that someone else will have more power.

The things that have caused our economy to teeter on the edge of disaster were born of fear. it causes me to look at the machinations of the human psyche with more interest and empathy.

We live in an age and atmosphere of fear that has escalated right along with the human population. All over the world this is happening.

What can be done?

Each of us human beings have the potential to stand back and observe what we are feeling , what triggers us, what is behind our anxieties and thoughts. By doing this we become aware of our guiding motivations. This can bring our reflexive reactions to the surface. Observing these patterns and reactions causes awareness. Once we are aware, the reflexive subconscious reactions to our triggers are lessened. We do not stop experiencing fear but through awareness we have more control of how we utilize it in our own life. Instead of blindly reacting to it.

The most amazing aspect of this powerful force, fear, is that it connects us all because it is part of the human experience yet it can separate and isolate us by it's very nature.

All Along The Watchtower

Jimi Hendrix, "All Along The Watchtower"

"There must be some kind of way out of here,"
Said the joker to the thief,
"There's too much confusion,
I can't get no relief.
Businessman they drink my wine,
Plowman dig my earth
None will level on the line, nobody offered his word, hey"

"No reason to get excited,"
The thief, he kindly spoke
"There are many here among us
Who feel that life is but a joke
But you and I, we've been through that
And this is not our fate
So let us not talk falsely now, the hour is getting late"

All along the watchtower
Princes kept the view
While all the women came and went
Barefoot servants, too

Outside in the cold distance
A wildcat did growl
Two riders were approaching
And the wind began to howl
Business man there, drink my wine,
Come and take my herb.

This is where I am today. Observing, waiting and contemplating. Not planning my next move or action just using my awareness to look around me and "know" what to do step by step. I am "All Along The Watchtower."

Friday, February 10, 2012

Stumbling into The Unknown, Unknowable.

In the Nordic Rune system there is a Rune that is Blank. It is called the “Unknowable. The path unclear and is taken totally on faith. The path that is the culmination of all roads already traveled. The rune represents such a powerful experience that sometimes it is labeled “Transformation similar to death”

I am in the “Unknowable”. The Vast emptiness pregnant with possibilities. I am terrified but excited and mindful of what a gift and blessing this time is. I pray to “The Creator of All” that I flow with this cycle in ways that will enrich me on all levels of life. I will follow the paths I am “Guided” to follow. I have no idea where it will lead but I know it is where I need to be.

Although this cycle feels sudden to me it was a long time coming. The signs were all there, ever since when I began to sense and listen to my “Guidance” many years ago.

There is a speaking in me that resonates without a voice. A growing essence that continually is expanding and changing shape.

In “Face of a Thousand Heroes”, Joseph Campbell discusses how the “potential hero” is urged to perform a particular quest. The quest is risky, unclear and dangerous at times. However, if the hero declines and chooses to remain in the illusion of “safety and security” and ignore the quest, the results are irredeemable.

I am the “potential hero” of my own life and I will not ignore this quest even though my ego is bellowing and pleading with me to stay where it’s safe and known.
And so like the “Fool”, I go stumbling off to do whatever it is I am guided to do, into the “Unknowable” to quest within mySelf..

Wednesday, February 8, 2012

A Significant Milestone

It's been really strange the last two weeks. I haven't written very much because things felt so awry inside me. I couldn't find words to explain how I felt.

The fog is clearing a bit. I am not sure exactly what I am seeing but the environment I am preconditioned to see and feel is evolving somehow. I am sensing something I cannot name or even describe very well. All I know it is meant to be.

Today is my birthday. I always like my birthdays but this one seems so significant and, again, I am not sure why. Maybe it's because I am 57. Maybe it's because I took that turn last year and totally changed the conditions of my life. I am not sure..but I "know" what I need to know about this cycle will come forth. In it's own time and in it's own way.

This I Know

Stumbling through life has it's merits.  I can see this now.  It's messy, uncomfortable at times, enlightening, joyous, heartbr...