The Truth about Forgiveness

As I mentioned before; I have learned so much about myself the last three years.  The Good, Bad and the Ugly.  Yes indeed some of it was very ugly.  But I needed to know, to see in order to free myself of a few more chains holding me in the prison I made for myself.

One of the most important things I now know is the importance of "Forgiveness".  I never could really get this.  Someone does something to me and it's my responsibility to forgive them??  That's nonsense!  Or so I thought.  All the slights;perceived or otherwise, insults, rejections, resentments, gossip, underhanded dealings that I carried around with me for so many years.  One or the other would come to the forefront whenever a certain emotion triggered the place I had all of these buried.

One or another of these repressed nuggets would surface..all the bigger for sitting inside me for so long.  Until one day I realized I had repeated this process for so long that I actually could sense a physical response in my body when the right emotion triggered this repressed mess.  Neuro peptides had been formed because of this.

Then I got it.  The importance of "Forgiveness" was for me.  To help me let go of the jumbled mess inside me.  To stop the ,"I am the victim/martyr of all time," nonsense.  To stop allowing these actions along with the people connected to them to have any hold on me.  Forgiveness was the only way.  It made even more sense when I took it a step further.  People don't plan to ruin someone's day or do mean underhanded things.  Unless they are just bat crap crazy.  No, most of the time it is their fear..and the ideology of victim hood they are carrying around.  So why would I allow someone's weak moment of meanness to have some strange hold on me for years?  Wow.

We become what we resent and fear in others because we are fearful of being resented.  It's a vicious cycle.  And everyone who is human is wired to do this.

I have learned to forgive for my own well being and it is so freeing.  Why did it take me so long.????




 My mind does not always tell me the truth.  It's not intentional.  It's my emotions/ego trying to make me feel better..by allowing my mind to pick out facts and information that support my own preconditioning.  In other words, it's telling me what I want to believe.  That's not necessarily the truth.  Sometimes observing with objectivity is scary and painful.  Shakes up your world and what you want to believe.   But the there really is more than one side to every situation.