Saturday, December 3, 2011

My Formula for Emotional Control

Emotional Control

The Human Condition is shaped largely by “feeling” and by the nature of this physical realm; subjectivity rules. True objectivity is not possible. However; by knowing this, we can choose to control our ego/emotional responses. This allows us to view our environment, ourselves and others in a more objective way. Here lies the key to observing the man made illusions of this plane, working them without becoming part of the illusionary patterns. It is the basis of creating better personal realities for ourselves.

From the time I was very young, I was an extremely emotional person with no idea how to process my feelings properly. I either repressed them; pretending not to feel what I felt, or I responded without thinking. Both of these choices proved to be very damaging to my sense of self and my self esteem. My responses engaged my ego to rise up and represent me for so many years. By doing this I shaped a personality facade that was not representative of my total being. Just my emotions and ego.

I was fortunate to have a strong connection to my spirituality. I don’t know why or how but I did. And thankfully my “Inner Guidance” stepped in and helped me to slowly change my emotional response patterns. It took me years to finally “get it” but once I did the results were amazing. And even though I get the idea and know how much better I handle things, it is still hard to break old patterns. But it can be done. The benefits are so worth the effort. I haven’t shared this with many for several reasons. It is one of those things that presents so simply that it appears complicated and difficult to explain in a way that satisfies the minds demand for understanding. As you work with it; if you choose to, you will notice a noticeable transformation in the way you handle difficult situations and how you view the world in general.

My “Guidance” gave me a formula to use as a basis for controlling my emotions.

Stimuli--------->Perception-------->Interpretation--------> Reaction----------->Response--------->Actions


The first one is obvious. It is merely what the environment is for that moment, hour, day, etc...It can be anything. Everything in this physical plane can be stimuli. Our minds register millions of pieces of data that is stimuli all the time. And it is processed unconsciously every second.

Consciously working this formula is helpful when you are aware of discomfort inside.

Anything that triggers fear, anger, hurt feelings, guilt the time to consciously utilize the formula. For example, someone says something to you that rubs you the wrong way. That is the time to stop and work the formula. Stimuli is a fairly objective form at this stage.

One other thing about stimuli. It is not always the reason for the emotions to engage..sometimes stimuli is merely a trigger. Triggering something that was repressed and long buried inside us. Sometimes the actual stimuli has nothing to do with what we are feeling about is just the trigger and nothing more.


How the stimuli is first processed. The first response to the stimuli is how you sense it. Where do you sense it. What is the first thing that comes to mind when you sense it? This is where the stimuli changes shapes and becomes subjective. For example, you wake up and the day is rainy. You can perceive the stimuli as either just rain or a sense of forboding, a sense of anticipation.


This is where it starts to get tricky. What are you interpreting from your perception of the stimuli. Example, it is raining..your perception is irritable when you note it is raining; your interpretation is the weather is going to ruin your whole day.

It is the place where you really begin to internalize and process with your emotions how you perceived the stimuli. This is where you start feeling it in your solar plexus. The beginnings of angst. You have interpreted the weather, the remark, the way your hair looks, the way your house looks not in a good way and the solar plexus begins to churn.


At this point the “feelings” engage. The process is felt in the solar plexus and the second chakra

A Word on Emotional Repression

Repressed emotions are generally stored in the second chakra for women. Repressed emotions are things that were upsetting, devastating or traumatic to us that we did not process. It is a mistaken belief that if we ignore or shut out hurtful or unpleasant feelings that they have gone away. This is a pseudo attempt at emotional control and it doesn’t work.

The feelings we repress are pushed down into the second chakra. It’s like shoving things we don’t know what to do with in a damp basement. The things we put there change shape. They swell up from the damp environment, growing mold and fungi until they are no longer recognizable.

Just because we shoved them in the basement and forgotten them doesn’t mean they went away. They merely took on a life on their own, fed by more and more things shoved down there.

They take up space that we could use more creatively. The space becomes unhealthy and impairs the potential for improving our quality of life. They spread out and no matter where you step, you jar something that explodes in a wave of unpleasantness. It becomes a huge monster size living dump of the feelings we did not process.

The second chakra becomes a storage of pain and discomfort. As it fills, we become less receptive to ourselves. Our emotions are then triggered by things that are not even related to what is actually happening at the time span we are in. When these unhealthy storage areas inside us are triggered, we could be responding to something that happened years and years ago. The perfect breeding ground for sickness, bitterness and perpetual anger. And this mix will eventually erupt like a volcano all over your life.

Processing Feelings to Prevent “The Basement Disaster”.

I know I have repeated this a hundred times. Be your own best friend! And that means legitimizing how you feel. Stop for a bit when you are feeling angry, sad, confused etc...and give yourself permission to feel this while you observe it. Acknowledge your discomfort and observe the flow of these feelings without trying to make it feel better, push it away, resist or understand it. Let it flow through you. Notice where you feel it the most inside of you as it flows through you. Acknowledge that you feel sad, hurt, angry, confused, etc...This allows you to process and observe without actually interacting with the flow as it comes though you and leaves.

Resistance adds strength to the thing you are resisting. As your resistance grows, so does the force you are trying to resist. Just let it flow through you. It may take a few minutes, hours or days.

Just give yourself the time and space to legitimize and acknowledge how you feel. Make a ritual of it, circulating your aura while you do this, connect with your Higher Source, give yourself Reiki. I personally set aside time almost everyday to do this. I have so much buried crap inside me. I set aside an hour..half hour sometimes 15 minutes. I light my candles and incense, sit in my favorite chair and allow the discomfort to flow through me for a set time. Then I do something really good for myself. Like soak in the tub, read a book, give myself Reiki or eat a piece of chocolate.

This will neutralize the urge to repress. It will disarm the ego’s litany of self denigration. It allows you to make peace with yourself and keep your inner spaces clear for your own creative works. It keeps you from burying the vast treasure you have inside you.


At this point the emotions will engage. This is where you decide what action will manifest from this processing. Will it be angry words, an act guaranteed to make someone feel guilty, a clever plan of revenge or a barrage of self hate. Or will it be a decision to keep processing it until you make peace with yourself and the energy of the emotions. A response ability that allows you to use the processing of your emotions as a learning experience, utilizing wisdom and discernment on how to act on what is best for your and your wellbeing.


There is no end or beginning to this formula. It is more like a cycle. Then end product is still going to circulate in it’s spiral patterns. Processing is an ongoing thing. We all process our emotions but we either do it unconsciously or consciously. Unconscious processing leads to repression..Conscious processing of the formula leads to heightened self awareness, self knowledge and wisdom.

The action you take after processing through the formula will always circulate back. Incorrectly or correctly for yourself. For there is no right or wrong. Just what is correct for you or incorrect.

What you manifest into the physical plane as an action will either be back for further processing or help you process other difficult situations.

I hope this helps. It is difficult to explain but so very important to me in my everyday life.

The good thing about doing this repetitively is after a while, it becomes second nature and almost automatic.

If you decide to utilize will make an immense difference in your quality of life and how you view yourself and others If not, it will be fine. You will find a way.


Utilizing the Formula for Emotional Control.
Legitimize your feelings and emotions.
Observe and Acknowledge your feelings and emotions.
Do not repress or resist the flow of feelings and emotions.
Using these tools heightens self awareness.
Be kind to yourself and be your own best friend. Process your feelings enough that you lose the ego’s urge to self denigrate.

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