Saturday, July 14, 2012

The Big Unexpected and Sometimes Scary Adventure

Recovered, Replenished and Redirected

Did I mention adventure in my last entry? Oh My God! Anything I was upset about in that last post was blown out of the window by the new situation that literally blew in. It started on Friday, June 29 with a big wind and a storm that came out of nowhere with no warning. It lasted maybe 15 minutes and it wiped out the power and everything else.

I had no idea that this storm would be the beginning of an ordeal that lasted 9 days. And there are people here who still do not have power.

It was a strange nine days. The heat was unrelenting. The focus of life was gas, ice and water. I was forced to throw out everything in our freezer and refrigerator. Not enough ice.
I stood in lines for ice and water from the National Guard, went to cooling shelters for meals and respite. (After I found some gas available to buy) I washed clothes by hand, cooked on a campstove, making dinners out of things stored in my pantry. I basically lived on my back porch for the duration because the house was stifling.

The heat and uncertainty of things were so intense that I had problems sleeping at night. I wasn't scared, surprisingly, just unable to sleep.

However, I meditated for long periods of time. Strangely enough, so many things seem clearer. Some things that were becoming clearer were totally unveiled.

I made yet another startling realization that I may not want to practice nursing in the usual way any longer. I no longer feel as though I want to treat and nurse physical symptoms in the usual way. I want to be a nurse of the whole enchilada....body, mind and spirit. I so firmly believe in the connection between these parts of us that all are necessary to wellness and health. I believe we can have physical afflictions and still be healthy.

I believe it is all about the Life Force and the circulation of this life force through our bodies and aura that is as vital as blood to our being. I believe that our sense of health and well being comes from this life force, optimal circulation to avoid "energy clots" and raising the vibrational frequency of our life force.

I have come to "know" that we, as humans, our driven by our emotions and ego. That will not change, it is part of who we all are. I "know" that our emotions and ego are merely trying to "help" us in this physical world but are not capable of making the best decisions for us. The ego/emotional combination is wired for the purpose of grasping onto to immediate gratification and solutions to what we perceive as problems. Our brain is tied to this and works with the ego/emotions to make logic out of our desire to avoid fear, anxiety.

It is our heart center that is the intersection of the totality of our being. It is the place where our wisdom comes from. A place where we connect our physical body with Life Force and wisdom that is not born of this physical plane in this life span but a culmination of learned experiences and knowledge that we acquire with each life span.

If we acknowledge and increase our awareness of this, then we can successfully work with our ego/emotions and brain to further our life here in this plane in this life span. Once we recognize that what we need and truly want comes from the heart we can connect it to our ego/emotions and brain we can begin to see what is really important.

The heart is the true mind of the being and it will show us the way to our truest flow in this life. It wlll lead us step by step to what we need to do, where we need to be. It is the seat of our truest inspiration and gifts. It is the pinnacle of our health and well-being.

I can truly see how we attract and repel things in our life. How our brain, on it's own, along with the ego/emotional duo are here to fulfill our thoughts. It will try to manifest what we think, whether it is good or not so good for us. But when we connect it consciously with our heart, and deliberately acknowledge our life force, circulate it through our aura and body with the deliberate intent on raising the frequency of our energy vibration, we are automatically able to direct our energy and thoughts to the flow and direction of life that we need to be in to fulfill our needs and purpose. We are led into the direction not blindly groping for our way.

Whew. So this is a deepening step for me. To process my anxiety about working and what I should allowing myself to feel the anxiety without putting a reason for it. To continue to work with my life force to deliberately connect all parts of me and take one step at a time in the direction I am led. "To Do without Doing, To Know without Understanding Why"

It is interesting to note that during those nine days of what appeared to be a prison of heat and discomfort I was freed to see these things more clearly than ever before. And during this time I received two phone calls of people requesting Reiki attunements. I am in the process of getting a class together now and constructing a class plan.

I also had several requests for Reiki Treatments during those days without power. Most people have not ever heard of Reiki where I live now. It happened at a cooling shelter 5 days into the ordeal. A lady who knows me and knows I do Reiki was there and asked me to give her Reiki. There were people watching and several of them wanted to try it too, because the lady I was giving it to was well known to them.

I spent this week (after the power came back on) catching up on sleep, getting my house in order, replenishing the fridge and freezer, catching up on laundry and cleaning up the mess from the trees in my yard that blew down. I am recovering from the physical aspects of the ordeal caused by lack of electricity. Those long and sweltering nights I spent alone in the deepest darkness should have been terrifying.

But honestly deep down, below the surface of me, I feel replenished and redirected somehow. It feels like I was on some kind of primitive spiritual retreat.

Everything takes time and I can see, in retrospect, that I have been working towards a deep and purposeful need for a while, step by step. Beginning with my urge to move here and give up conventional nursing and take up "traditional" nursing. What does all this mean? It means that now I know when I grow up I want to be a "Granny Woman". The most basic but effective healers, natural apothecaries and seers of other levels of life.

I guess every once in a while I get side tracked and am caught up in my frustration about things that appear to be in my way. Once again I was a witness to how fast things can change and what happens to things we take for granted. I used the time to strengthen my connection with what is real and important to me.

I am recovered, replenished and redirected

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