Thursday, April 28, 2011

Just because I am having a little setback doesn't mean I am not healing.

The Healing and Strengthening process is an ongoing thing. It is not about doing really hard work diligently for a few weeks and waking up one morning with everything in place. No No..it is about living mindfully and recognizing patterns..recognizing troubling areas that rise up.

I had one today. I felt some frustration and resentment to someone very dear to me. I began the process of working myself up to a righteous indignation ..and at the nick of time..I quickly pulled myself back out of the self pity revelry that starts the pattern to a new level of emotional storms. Reminded myself quickly, Acceptance! Breath! Where are we right now?

I breathed and gently and strongly urged myself to pull my focus where I was at that moment. To recognize in a kindly manner to myself that whatever was triggering my emotions was more to do with repressed pain and myself than my partner. I allowed myself to feel the place inside me that was hurting. I assessed the uncomfortable feeling and observed it. And then I stayed with it while giving myself Reiki.

What I was left with was ..a place in me that was hurting..that was my focus..I didn't try to fix it just assist myself with Reiki while it unfolded. Acceptance. The anger and resentment went by the wayside. I can't believe I didn't act out. I am so glad I didn't. Because it was about a place in me that is hurting..it was hidden until triggered by a response detected in me. Through Acceptance ..I was able to recognize this and be supportive of myself. Yay!

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