Sunday, March 18, 2012

Letting Go

My youngest child is immigrating to the UK to live with her husband in 4 days. I am so happy for them to finally be able to live together in the same country, city, and dwelling. I could not have chosen a better husband for her. He is a wonderful man and most of all he adores my daughter and has for many years.

I am so happy for them and excited for my daughter. She is such an adventurous soul.

However; despite all of my happiness for her starting her new life, I am experiencing deep emotional type pains in my my three lower energy centers and my heart is aching. I have waves of sad feelings well up out of nowhere. They come fast and hard, so intense that tears spring out of my eyes immediately. It feels like grief. The strange part is that even though I am in one of the "sadness waves" I am still happy and excited for her.

A mix of grief and joy. I am not surprised by my happiness for her..I am surprised by the depth I feel the pain of our coming separation. It is deep, visceral and feels like something is grinding part of me away.

I honestly did not know what this painful feeling was about until I began to process my emotions. Which means finally recognizing that something was amiss, sitting down and letting myself feel what I feel. Conducting the feeling rather than resisting it..conducting the flow through me. As I circulated my aura, it came to me what I was experiencing this physical reaction to sadness. It is time to let go of my youngest child.

Now that I am aware of the texture and sensation of this painful wave running through me, I recognize it from the first time I had to let go of a child. My son. Now it comes back to me how my body and emotions grieved when I let him go. I think I will handle it better this time.

I am more aware of my internal workings and now with the help of my Guidance I have "tools" to utilize to help me work through this.

I remind myself that it was good to let go of my son and allow him to follow his own life and direction. We are very close even though he lives 7 hours south from me. I not only love him but now I admire and respect him which is a product of letting him go and acknowledging him as an adult.

So I will work through this. And with the help of God/Goddess I will NOT break down at the airport when I see her off. That is the time I want my excitement and joy for her to come out.
I want to send her on her adventure and new life radiating happiness for her.

I don't mind if I cry after she leaves. I always cry when I send her off to the UK..even just for visits. I cried buckets over her brother for months and months. I will live through it.

Being a mother is such a gift. But times like this hurt. But it's so worth it. I will pull my big girl pants on, man up and do this! I can do this!

And so I leave this with just a few more words to my children.

Thank you for being mine. You have no idea the joy you brought to me and your father. Even though your father has already moved into the next level of life, I know he is as proud of you both as I am.

And so, speaking for both of us; here are our wishes for you.

Love yourselves, Always follow your heart, Live Well, Be Happy and know that your mother loves you both with every fiber of her being. And remember, Life is an adventure not a prison sentence!


  1. Yay!! :) I think that you and I will have a lot in common, we share some of the same interest,,(vampires) and again,, my daughter does not even call her mom,, so blessed be the growing children hope we have taught you well. Im on facebook, and you can look me up there if should choose to,, I am going to follow, and share, Blessed Be Lady Kane Lightworker

  2. It is always a wonderful thing to meet others who share interests. Especially my strange interests..I will definitely look for you on facebook.

    And yes, blessed be the growing and grown children. I did the best I could, I pray it was enough!

    Joy, Heath, Prosperity to you!


This I Know

Stumbling through life has it's merits.  I can see this now.  It's messy, uncomfortable at times, enlightening, joyous, heartbr...