Wednesday, March 28, 2012

Living in the Now

Friday I was a mess. With a capital M. I had no motivation for anything past laying on my bed, crying and feeling sorry for myself. I allowed myself to feel this discomfort, letting it flow through me. Legitimizing and acknowledging my painful feelings. I gave myself Reiki, circulated my aura and took a few seconds out here and there between sobs for Gratitude.

By Sunday the worst was over. I am not sure if I just processed it all or I allowed it to flow and stop resisting it; and it just faded as it continued to process. It doesn't matter, I just know I started to want to move around and do something else. By Monday I was pretty much my usual self.

I am excited about the weather and the way all the plants are waking up. The way the sun feels, how green the grass is and how the birds sing all over the place. Ok, so it sounds so like a pollyanna moment. I don't care..This is exhilarating to me. This breaths life into me. And it really helps me with my ongoing work of "being in the now". Not belaboring the past, worrying about the futureor lost in some emotional wrestling match within. I want to be planted in the NOW.

This spring I realize that the natural world, once again, helps me become more focused on the NOW. The more I do this the more reflexive it becomes.

I go outside with my dog and begin working. It is joyous and exciting to me. Whether I am picking up big limbs, pulling out weeds or cutting the grass. I am not good at everything yet but I am learning. For the last two nights when I was done, I was so sore and tired. Last summer I worked outside almost everyday. Sweating and pushing myself a bit. Over the winter I was not as busy physically. But I can feel my body is eager to sweat more and move more, despite the discomfort. I lose myself in the Now. Awesome!

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