Tuesday, October 16, 2012

When Situations Become Personal Issues

I have been confronted with yet another  revelation about my inner workings.  A situation will come up and frequently I will internalize it and make this a personal issue.  Complete with the emotional reactions, dragging old past issues to connect with it.

My "Inner Guidance"  brought this to my attention a couple of days ago and it was a real eye opener.  As I stated in a previous post, I have been focusing on clearing and cleansing my energy centers.  And of course, strengthening my aura.  This internal and usually unnoticed processed came into my view.

The inclination to do this varies.  I have not yet decisively discovered what makes me more susceptible emotionally to this pattern of making the stimuli of a situation or event into a personal painful issue.   I also became aware that when I extricate my energy from one situation I allowed to become a personal issue,  another one takes its place.

I often wonder if it has to do with the tides of the tattvic tides, my physical body chemistry, a cycle of hormonal chaos, a necessary task as this life span cycles close to lessons unlearned from another life span?
Is it just part of the human condition?  It doesn't matter because no matter what is the cause I no longer wish to incarcerate myself into this condition.

I am mindfully attempting to observe at what point a situation becomes a personal issue.  I have had at least three different situations that presented themselves to my life this week.  I am sure there were more but these are the ones that I was mindfully aware that I was making a personal issue about a situation.

The one that I am working through today.  My husband to be has a truck that he has been struggling with for a couple of years.  He has a large loan and he needs the truck for work.  The electrical issues are overwhelming and he has spent a lot of money trying to repair.  It is acting up again.  At some point my ability to be attentive to his anxiety over this problem began to soak into me.  It became personal and I began to emote about it.  To the point it took over my entire evening.  The futility and helplessness that accompanies an issue so big..or appears so big.

Now...I am reviewing the machinations that occurred to cause me to make this a painful personal issue.  It causes a great emotional upheaval and I simply cannot think clearly.

Once again, awareness and acknowledgement is assisting me to see myself and how I deal with life in a more truthful and honest way.  It's not pretty but it's real and I can go from there.  The amazing thing is just knowing that I am aware of what I am doing is easing the discomfort of this process.  I am becoming more curious than anxious.

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