Petulance

I am experiencing a bout of petulance. I am not sure why or how it started. I just know it's here and I am in the process of observing it.

I think it started with me worrying if I would get the last of my "home" projects completed before the weather became cold and wet this fall. It then proceeded to go down hill from there. I got to thinking about what an alien I am here. All out self pity busted out then. That is until I got a hold of myself.

It's like a runaway train. One thing leads to something else. Pretty soon I am bummed, irritable, negatively projecting my messed up ego/emotions all over the place.

Now, I am wise enough to know now that I cannot shove it away or resist it. That makes it bigger and I have to deal with it later. So I just gathered up what I was feeling at that moment and acknowledged it.

I then gave equal time to all the things that were so amazing in my life right now. I made an agreement with myself that I may be tired and maybe missing my friends a bit. Then I gave the whole shebang Reiki. And it did help. I am pleased I caught myself before it became a full blown depressing and draining inner struggle.

I will nurture myself to the best of my ability. Be my own best friend right now. Because something in me was triggered bothered me enough to bring forth this array of uncomfortable feelings.