Thursday, May 17, 2012

Update from the Twilight Zone

Yeah, that's what it feels like. The "Twilight Zone". But not in a bad way. It's been a fast moving week with lots of changes and surprises. Some were good and some not so wonderful. The good news is I am able to move with it, observe the things happening as they occur with minimal obsessing or attempts to fix. On the whole, for the most part, I observed while moving through the days, events and situations.

I was involved yet not reacting to things as they unfolded. Since I have been known to grab on to events and situations and chew them over like a dog with a bone; this was a huge realization for me. It's kind of difficult to put this into words.

It appears that my conscious decision to process all uncomfortable feelings is catching on inside me. It is almost automatic now and it allows me to perceive situations and events with a teensy more objectivity. Which means no meltdown for me..Yay! is how it is working for me. Something happens that looks like a big mess or obstacle. I catch myself immediately and begin acknowledging and processing the uncomfortable feelings these things tend to bring. Simultaneously I am observing the impact the event or situation has on my immediate environment. And because I am not rolling in the floor with a major temper tantrum or having a huge panic attack, I can ask my Guidance for assistance in dealing with the situation if the situation requires intervention of any kind.

Eureka..conduction really does work. It is resistance that makes me freak out.

I tried to explain my big realization to my partner. (Who pointedly asked me how I can stay so calm when things are falling apart) He looked at me with concern and said, Oh Sweetie, that's good" And then he added," You are so cute." He did everything but pat me on the head.

Oh well..I know it works..

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