Sunday, October 30, 2011

Deeper State of Acceptance

Am I making progress with my daily goal and contemplation to live in Acceptance? Yes, I believe so. In fact, I know I am. Right now and for the last two weeks I have felt better than I have for a LONG time..and I did not consider myself a truly miserable person before..but still it is so much better now.

I am learning what it is to be still inside. I have heard this spoken of so many times in seminars, meditation books..etc...but now I truly know what it means to be still. I believe it goes hand in hand with Acceptance. Stillness within is like a subtle dance. At first I think I can only do it if there is a partner to dance with..meaning something to fill the stillness. And then it came to me...Stillness is not a solitary experience at all...in truth it causes the walls of isolation built by the ego/emotional self to fall away only to find in the stillness..in the state of acceptance I am connected to every being around me. It is like a connecting thread to other beings in the universe. We are all doing the quiet subtle dance together.
It is only through stillness and acceptance I can get there.

I see now that by filling my "void" or stillness with ego directed emotion, fears, thoughts and worries of the past and future serves only to isolate myself..as one being disconnected. Like a broken thread of a spider's web; the the connection to the whole is broken.

So did my decision to live in a state of acceptance bring me to a place I could find stillness within me or did the stillness come first? Does it matter? Not to me. All that matters is it works somehow.

Every once in a while the old pattern tries to emerge but I quickly remember to avert this by asking myself: where am I? What am I doing? What am I seeing, smelling, sensing? As I answer these questions I find my attention moving back into the moment or "the NOW".

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