Sunday, October 30, 2011

Deeper State of Acceptance

Am I making progress with my daily goal and contemplation to live in Acceptance? Yes, I believe so. In fact, I know I am. Right now and for the last two weeks I have felt better than I have for a LONG time..and I did not consider myself a truly miserable person before..but still it is so much better now.

I am learning what it is to be still inside. I have heard this spoken of so many times in seminars, meditation books..etc...but now I truly know what it means to be still. I believe it goes hand in hand with Acceptance. Stillness within is like a subtle dance. At first I think I can only do it if there is a partner to dance with..meaning something to fill the stillness. And then it came to me...Stillness is not a solitary experience at truth it causes the walls of isolation built by the ego/emotional self to fall away only to find in the the state of acceptance I am connected to every being around me. It is like a connecting thread to other beings in the universe. We are all doing the quiet subtle dance together.
It is only through stillness and acceptance I can get there.

I see now that by filling my "void" or stillness with ego directed emotion, fears, thoughts and worries of the past and future serves only to isolate one being disconnected. Like a broken thread of a spider's web; the the connection to the whole is broken.

So did my decision to live in a state of acceptance bring me to a place I could find stillness within me or did the stillness come first? Does it matter? Not to me. All that matters is it works somehow.

Every once in a while the old pattern tries to emerge but I quickly remember to avert this by asking myself: where am I? What am I doing? What am I seeing, smelling, sensing? As I answer these questions I find my attention moving back into the moment or "the NOW".

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