Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Pacing Myself With Eyes Wide Open

I believe I am moving into another cycle. The last week or two was a bit difficult but definitely eye opening. My "living pattern" was disrupted. First by an interruption in my job, then there was major trouble with my partner's place of employment and to top it all off..his truck broke down. We managed to move through all of that. I was determined not to let that slow me down. Then I injured my leg. That was even more difficult but I hobbled along still determined not have my routine inhibited by it.

Then I came down with a nasty stomach virus on top of it all..That was it! I had to just lay there with a throbbing knee and a stomach that would not stop churning and emptying itself. Ugh...And I was forced to take a deep breath and see where I was and think about what had been happening.

I realize that in this physical plane..stuff happens. However, this was so concentrated that I could kind of see a pattern. They were not devastating catastrophe's but a series of events that appeared to escalate every time I tried to ignore the obstacles and just move around it. Until I was facing a huge road block.

There was nothing left to do but to face myself. What was I missing? What was my Inner Guidance trying to show me. I took a deep breath and made the decision to just surrender to this time and see what I needed to see. I stopped trying to keep up with all of my self imposed tasks and deadlines. I just let go. For three days I basically did nothing but meditate, give myself Reiki.

Even though physically I did not feel so good, inside or out I noticed that when I made the decision to surrender to the stand still...I felt a distinct sense of relief as I just relaxed into the events that had occurred. I begin to sense The Flow again, moving in a slightly different direction. I observed it, allowed myself to feel it and follow it with my mind, body and spirit.

I slowed down and let my body decide when it was ready to move. It's amazing because two days after I decided to do this...(I was a captive audience by then)..things began to fall in place. External events began to resolve in ways that were better than I could believe. I was amazed. Then I noticed I was beginning to feel better physically. I eased back in to my life with The Flow..yesterday I began noticing a huge influx of energy coursing through me..my heart center was open and flowing freely. Today I am really starting to feel good. My pace and rhythm has picked up. However, I am mindful to observe and sense my direction and where I am in the Now.

I now choose Not to get so caught up in the patterns of my life that I lose sight of my Inner Flow. For that is where I need to be. I want my eyes wide open to see where I am.

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