Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Don't try to fit in when you are meant to stand out.

I saw this written on a forum today and it struck me as profound..simple yes, but profound.  I think I have spent my life trying to "fit in"  and the only success I had with it was when I was not being my authentic self.  Times where I obviously told my ego/emotions to build me a personality that would hide the real me.  Not good.

It gave me fleeting moments of feeling like I "fit in" but it really did nothing for my sense of self-acceptance.  And that is where I need to fit in..is with mySelf.

I think I finally get it.

I am still under the weather.  I haven't done a thing for three days.  No yard work, no housework..nothing. Wait!  That's not true, I did do things.  I gave myself Reiki, meditated on what my "Inner Guidance" was trying to show me, I rested (something I have never been able to do when I was not well..I always had to plow on to my workday..)  I did do something..Something very important.  I put myself first.  Not my productivity..I didn't man up and I wasn't a good soldier.  I acknowledged the distress my body felt and nurtured myself through it.

I am feeling much better but I can tell I am still working through some very uncomfortable emotional issues along with nurturing my physical health back to homeostasis.

I am not going to go into it now..for one reason..I am still really tired from this cold.   And another reason, I don't have the issue in any type of conceptual form to even explain it.  It's just feelings that are uncomfortable.

I still have a little fever so I think I will go drink a bunch of water and lie down again.  Hopefully tomorrow I will be feeling much much better.

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