Thursday, June 2, 2011

Party's Over, Time to find a job

It really hasn't been a "party" with me lazing about eating bonbons on my chaise lounge reading romance novels for days at a time.  I was thinking about where I was going today and the "party's over" came into my head.  Maybe my "shadow self" making a smart remark.

Yesterday I had to go into Beckley to run some errands.  I went by this nursing facility and decided to run in and grab an application.  The hiring manager told me I needed to fill it out on site and so since it was an impulse stop I , of course, was not prepared.  I don't have the conscious memory to store all the details of every job I ever had with addresses and phone numbers.  No, I have all that stuff written down for me in a folder that was at home.  So today I am going back.

The funny thing is yesterday I wasn't the slightest bit anxious.  I was curious.  Today I am anxious.  Why?  Why are my emotions wired that way?  I am telling myself..what is so different about today going than yesterday.  Except today I am planning it and yesterday it was an impulse.

Whatever the reason for this..I am utilizing one of the symbols of Karuna Reiki® to help heal unconscious patterns as well as the "shadow self".   I love my shadow self but sometimes she/it gets out of hand.  Which means I am out of hand.  It's kind of confusing but I hope I am making myself clear.  

I have been without paid employment for 6 months.  A sabbatical of sorts.  And even when I find a job I am only working 2 or 3 days a week.  Which is why I am still not employed.  The two job offers I received since moving to West Virginia were really good ones but full time only and my "Inner Guidance"  says NO.  

There are other things I want to pursue and I am in a wonderful position for the first time in my life of not having to work every waking moment for survival.   I am pursuing other things..some of them are not exactly clear to me yet..but I am moving towards something different.  However, I am kind of looking forward to being back to work for a few hours a week.   We will see how it turns out.  

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