Monday, June 13, 2011

When it's all said and done

I have been kind of occupied with this nasty cold for a few days.  It kicked my behind out from underneath me so  my "Inner Guidance"  had my full undivided attention. I had no strength to do anything but lay around.


 At times it was like a  "Three Stooges" movie going on in my head...but I now have ways to calm that mess down.  Thanks BE!

During this time I had no unearthly visions or intense channeling.  No...not this time.  What I had was a clear message.  It was short, sweet and to the point.   Choose to be happy.

Yeah, that's it.  Choose to be happy.  The weird thing is ..when I say it to myself, "I choose to be happy", it does automatically raise my energy...get it lowing and the vibration intensifies.  Hmmmm...I will see where this goes.

I actually had this happen one other time before.  Many years ago when I was in a pit so far down I could not see daylight.  Pain, sorrow and misery were my constant companions.  Only meditation/prayer, Reiki and my kids and my sister got me through.  I remember one night so clearly.  I could not take anymore.  I couldn't even cry I was just so overcome with misery that I was numb and unable to move.

I remember closing my eyes..taking deep breaths..trying to get one tiny thread of my being connected to the Source, Spirit, God/Goddess, Creator..or whatever you want to name it.  I was desperate and so overwhelmed..I just called out, " what in the world do I do now, how will I ever get through all of this?"

I began sobbing..in my head I heard it..above my loud crying..it wasn't a voice I perceived..just words.."Choose to be happy."  That stunned me..what?  That was ridiculous...how?

Well no one answered that...but for the heck of it..I had nothing to lose..I repeated it, "I choose to be happy."  It sounded to me a little ridiculous given the circumstances of my life..but it did feel good and that was something.  Any comfort was welcome.  I repeated it over and over.
 
I would like to say it magically transformed everything..but it didn't.  I still had huge and overwhelming things to deal with...but I can say it was a significant event..that changed the course of my thinking.  This along with the other tools I used..Meditation, Reiki..   The miraculous thing about this occurrence..is that within a week..of saying this to myself..I began having seconds, minutes..hours when I was happy.  This also taught me the importance of Living in the Now.

So....here I am..my life is so much better.  But still obstacles, fear  and anxieties occur..no matter what.  I now see clearly it is a part of the human condition.   I climbed out of the pit and had this amazing life for 6 years and the new message said..Now move to West Virginia...and I did.

I am starting over here.. I mean really starting over.  I cannot believe how much of my identity I tied up in my job.  Being without it..is a real learning experience.   I am pleased to be here..my partner loves it a lot.
But still..I needed that little reminder..."Choose to be happy"...to me that means stop worrying about the little things, stop worrying about what may or may not happen.  Go further than the human conscious mind can conceive,  bypass the confusion of my ego/emotions battling it out and take a look at this moment in the Now and choose to be happy.  Awesome!


I got this far obeying my Guidance.  I will continue.  Kicking and screaming sometimes..but I will keep on.

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