Monday, July 25, 2011

Is my path blocked or am I getting in my own way?

Either way I have caused myself to halt in the middle of the road. I am stuck. I don't know why or how but I a few days ago I noticed a shift in my energy patterns. I began to feel some anxiety and worry.

At first I found myself unconsciously attempting to just shove it down and move on. Old habits die hard. But I got a hold of myself and acknowledged that I am in a stuck place. I have no idea what precipitated this. But it is there. Like a huge boulder in my path. I can't detour around it.

Doubt, fear, anxiety and worry make up the texture of this barrier in front of me. As I move closer to it; waves of fear and anxiety move through my body.

The one and only thing I know to do right at this moment is to image the stuck place. Recognize how it feels and how strong it is. Move closer to it and allow the feelings to come..as I observe it as objectively as possible. There is a message here. This spot has a learning potential for me. There is nothing to do but to lean into it, face it down.

Instinctively, in my heart, I know this is the only way I can work through this. To identify barrage of unpleasant feelings and utilize this moment to learn whatever lesson this is teaching me about myself, my life and my direction.

When I image this situation in my mind it appears something like this. I am moving along nicely. I don't know exactly where I am headed but the path I am on seems so correct. There is always some landmark or light that keeps me going in the correct direction. I feel the "rightness" of it..the passion in me strong to keep on. The path takes turns, becomes difficult at times and I have to slow down. Sometimes I can move at a faster pace.

But all of the sudden the light goes out and I can't see. I try to push my way in the dark and I hit a large impediment in the road. I either can't or am unwilling to push past it. Part of me wants to just leave and find a well known road and maybe go around the stuck place. But deep down I know that to do that is to negate what I need to learn, remember or know about this particular cycle of my life travel to growth and expansion.

I need to Accept that I am in a stuck place, Legitimize my feelings about it. Pretending will do no good. I need to get close and lean into it. Reiki myself and meditate to keep my channels open and support myself through these uncomfortable feelings.

While I implement these I will also contemplate all the things I am grateful for. And there is a lot. I will exercise, drink lots of water, eat healthy things and take lots of deep breaths.

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