Sunday, July 17, 2011

Retrospection and Reconnoiter

I haven't written for a few days. Not because I had nothing to say but because I had so much running through me, it was impossible to sit down and put it into words. I am still a bit hard-pressed to distinguish what is happening to me and describe in mere words.

I went to the Herbal class in Roanoke. It was a mandatory addition to the Healer's Apprenticeship program I am enrolled in. It was a weekend class and I like it a lot and learned much from it. But it didn't stop there and I am not sure why.

(OK..I need to go back in time here a little while I try and find the threads that lead me to where I am now)

Before I moved to West Virginia; my partner and I would spend one of our days off together (usually every two weeks we had days off together) going through the woods behind his dad's house. It was about 100 acres of just woods and grown over fields. I loved it. He would look for arrow heads or metal detect for civil war artifacts. I would smell and feast my eyes on all the different growths and rocks. I would gather interesting things and make little piles here and there. One spot in particular I worked on for over a year. I made strange shapes by twisting roots together. I had bones of animals I found, rocks with quartz, feathers, wild flowers and plants and the "root dolls" I made. I had no idea why I did this..I just found such comfort in this..such delight and pleasure.

For those hours I forgot all the stress and problems of life. I was totally immersed in looking at things and gathering.

When I moved to West Virginia and the initial inner struggle died down. I began to relax into the change of lifestyle, terrain, environment etc...By spring I was drunk with the smell of the new growth and the colors. I was immersed everyday in the glory of nature. I am awed by the natural world. I thought I was before but that was just a taste.

I began to notice everything..including the plants. By color and smell. I grew a few of my own and loved the smell of the dirt and placing the plants in the ground. I loved watching them grow despite my inept thumbs that are not green. In March I found two very old small book on herbs that belonged to my great grandfather, then my grandfather. It was written in 1930 and the pictures are surprisingly good. I been carrying it around here and there trying to identify different plants and weeds. back to the present..

I went to the class because it was mandatory. I was mesmerized by the whole thing. I cannot get it out of my head. I think it was the "Plant Spirit" part that got me. I sat down and with focused contemplation, studied a mullein plant. And the feelings it stirred have not let me go.

I am even more fascinated by the natural world than ever before. I learned about a few plants and I think about them all of the time. I am more aware of all of them. Everyday since I came back I am compelled to pick one plant, identify and draw it every night. I love this but I am also puzzled by it. I can only identify this as some type of obsession. But its a good one so I won't fight it.

Along with this I have also had another deep pulling inside me that has come to the forefront.

I began this approximately 7 days ago. And it involves communicating with my body. It's as though I came to a pinnacle of consciously communicating with my "ego/personality linked to my emotions" and now the focus is my body. The night my focus switched I wrote about 8 pages of things my guidance was pointing out.

So the good news is I don't go around talking to my ego/personality/emotions for now. Now I discuss things with my body. And that is a subject all in itself..that I will address later. But right now...I just wanted to touch base with myself about what is happening right now. The plants and my body. That is the focus for now..

Here is a picture of a Burdock plant. I am searching for one on my property to replant near my house. So far I haven't been able to find a Mullein or Burdock but I will keep looking. I have some red clover and dandelions nearby along with plantain. So that is good!

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