Thursday, May 26, 2011

Another lesson for me about Acceptance

I woke up this morning with this crazy idea.  I harp so much about being my own best friend something in me wanted me to take this a step further.  Kind of like acting on my words.  Manifesting the idea into a mindful act.  So I opened my eyes and lay in my bed and thought, "What would you like to do right now?"  The answer came quickly,"I want coffee."  Ok, so I got up and made coffee and began thinking of all the productive stuff I should be doing..the mind chatter revving up.

I respectfully demanded the mind chatter stop and thoughtfully questioned myself about what would be a good thing to do next.  I wanted to go and sit on my back porch.  I took my coffee and my book and plopped myself in the chaise lounge, enjoyed the beautiful sunlight streaming through the trees and admired how green the grass was.  My neighbor started up her lawn tractor and immediately the mind chatter began again.  Urging me to get busy and do something.  Again, I respectfully quieted the mind noise down and proceeded to read and drink my coffee.  I did this for a while and my partner woke up.  He wondered out and we talked a bit.

I decided I wanted to do something else.  I got up and walked in the house and pointedly ignored the messy kitchen.  I wanted to do something different.  I walked into the bedroom and opened my closet.  It came to me that I wanted to move all of my winter clothes to the other closet and bring in my summer clothes.  So I did that.

My mind chatter seized the opportunity to start up again but I was truly on the track of doing what I wanted.  Of being open to what I wanted to do.  Not what I should do or what would look productive but what I wanted, truly wanted to accomplish.

I decided I wanted to clean the guest bedroom and the other bathroom.  I didn't hurry because I reminded myself, I don't have to hurry right now.  I am in a place and time that does not require that for now.  Before I knew it that was done.  I was sweaty and tired but pleased.  I wanted to take a break because my body was tired and I was thirsty.  So I went back out and plopped on my favorite chair on the back porch.  Sipping my tea I thought how good it felt to accomplish what I truly felt like accomplishing.

I spent the entire day doing this.  I ended up cleaning up my entire house (except our bedroom and bathroom..that's for another day) including mopping the kitchen floor and I did all the laundry.  I spent time with my partner before he went to work and even cooked a great dinner that he loved.  It was wierd it was like effortless effort.  There was no pushing and driving myself.  It was work but it was so satisfying.

After I write this I will go and fold all of the laundry while I watch a few episodes of True Blood on Demand.

I wonder what I will do tomorrow?

I think this is a part of Acceptance.   I was accepting of myself and what I wanted all day.

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