Sunday, August 21, 2011

Acknowledgement leads to Heightened Awareness

It has been a very nice Sunday. Pleasantly busy yet peacefully satisfying. I actually went to church today. A beautiful little church nestled in the hills. The church building's structure has remained pretty much unchanged for the last 100 years.

It was strange how comfortable I felt sitting in the pew listening to the sermon. As crazy as it sounds the words went above my usual aversion to any type of dogma and reached into this pagan heart to celebrate the shared experience of spirituality. I did not feel threatened or challenged. Of course, I did not stand up in the congregation and proclaim myself to be a Pagan either. That is not necessary. That is a label.

The truth is I am a person who celebrates life through my spirituality. For that hour I didn't think of the differences of the belief systems. I sat in a roomful of others enjoying the spiritually uplifting time of shared experience.

I feel that way when I go to a Buddhist temple or an Ashram. The shared experience of our hearts that go beyond the specific ways and means that go with each doctrine.

I got home and spent some time with my mate before he went to work. Did some yard work, housework, laundry etc...all the while contemplating the mechanisms that cause us humans to judge each other.

That brought me once again to the place where my "Guidance" always bring to my attention two important concepts. 1) It is not my job to figure out and monitor the judgmental behaviors of others. It is my business not to be judgmental. 2) Acknowledging my own inner ego driven mechanisms leads to heightened awareness of my thought patterns.

Heightened awareness of my thought patterns helps me observe what I am doing in a more objective manner. This provides me with an opportunity to redirect my thoughts to a healthier pattern.

Do I want to do this to be a nicer person? I would love to say yes but that would be a lie. I asked for this guidance and I practice this because it sets me free from the inner boundaries and prisons I make for myself. When I am less judgmental of others then I become less judgmental of myself.

Through acknowledgement of my inner workings I have been able to alleviate a lot of unwanted and unnecessary anxiety by redirecting my focus on what I want ..not what I am afraid will happen.
I am able to work with my ego and emotions and place myself into a "state of acceptance".

Is all this working? Oh yes it is. My life is so totally different now. My thoughts, my emotions are more authentic and genuine. Not a mirrored version of what I hear and see others do. I don't dislike myself, berate myself and a lot of my deep seated inferior thinking of myself has been alleviated.

I am totally fixed? No, it doesn't work that way. Living authentically is an ongoing process.
And the human condition is a powerful force. But I am not waging a war or fighting anything..I am working within myself. Utilizing the forces of the human condition as well as Guidance from a Higher Source. I still become anxious, worried and uncertain about things. But I am able to process this now instead of escalating these emotions into something bigger than they need to be.

Life is filled with possibilities and the possibilities are endless. But first I need to be open to it.

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